Thursday, December 22, 2011


Ed ran a small commercial loan company. He specialized in small companies that were already in business and needed cash to grow. He charged a fair interest rate for viable companies with a good business plan. He had a couple of analysts to review loan applications. If they looked good they would set up a meeting with the applicant and Ed. He also had a couple of clerks to do the basic bookkeeping and answer the phone. His two analysts and clerks were all women. They liked the work but were not too happy with Ed. He was pretty tight with a dollar and raises, if they ever came were small and far apart.

Sally, one of his analysts, set up a meeting with a Mrs Wiggins. Ed asked Sally for a run down on what the loan was all about but Sally said the request looked fiscally sound and he should let Mrs Wiggins explain what she needed the money for. Sally said it was unusual but it was operational and profitable.

The next day Mrs Wiggins came over with her lap top and a projector and put on her presentation. She said the business started by chance a year before. She was at a neighborhood house party and had her video camera and after a few drinks her next door neighbor jokingly said that one of the male guests probably had glass balls. He took exception, stood up and spread his legs and dared Doris Hamilton to kick his steel balls. There was a bit of joking back and forth with him taunting the woman and calling her chicken. Suddenly Doris kicked him in the groin. Mr Steel Balls let out a scream, clapped his hands over his nuts and sank to his knees. Luckily Mrs Wiggins was video recording. All the guests, except Steel Balls, were whooping with laughter. Doris told Steel Balls she was sorry and went to help him up. He was in agony and started to swear at her. She said he had asked for it and she kicked him again, square in the balls. Steel Balls collapsed to the merriment of all the other guests.

Over the next couple of days all the guests at the house party asked Mrs Wiggins if she could forward them a copy of Steel Balls getting it in the nuts. Mrs Wiggins told Ed and Sally that she was amazed at how people were interested in seeing Steel Balls getting kicked. She decided to post on the Internet a few short clips of the video which ran for four minutes and charged $5.00 for the full clip. It came up pretty high on a couple of search engines for people looking for that kind of thing. At over 1,000 hits she made over $5,000. Mrs Wiggins explained that she gave some of it to Doris, her neighbor. Then the two women went out looking for unsuspecting men for Doris to kick in the nuts. They were amazed how easy it was. Doris would just walk up to a man and ask if he would like a kick in the nuts. Out of 20, 3 men said Yes. that was all it took, as soon as the guy said yes, Doris would unleash a powerful kick. The results were hilarious - total shock followed by agony and wailing. The more women bystanders laughing, the better. They posted them and did very well. Now Mrs Wiggins wanted to expand to a more professional site with better equipment and a steady stream for Doris to kick. Mrs Wiggins said she would also get into the act but she felt there was a demand for videos of women grabbing men's nuts and squeezing them. Mrs Wiggins said she needed $150,000 and she presented budgets, cash flow projections and a video clip of highlights of her small library. Ed sat there speechless with his mouth hanging open. He had his hands clapped between his legs, hanging on to his nuts. Mrs Wiggins smiled as she recognized the type. Ed wanted his nuts worked over.